Just to set the record straight, I’m not virgin anymore. I did it casually with a friend. Now I won’t delve into the details. But the fact that I did it “casually” is essential in my belief about sex.
I don’t see sex as requiring love before people do it. That’s why I do not equate it with “making love” because for me it isn’t. Two people can do the act without feeling any love for each other. But of course, having sex with someone you love is pure awesomeness.
Having said that, I also do not believe that love requires sex. I believe I love/tend to love someone because of the way he/she looks, thinks, talks, relates to, and understands me and not because I want to get under his/her pants.
I also love you not because I can’t live without you, because certainly I already lived two great decades without you; I love you because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life without you. (Thank you ‘Rumor Has It’ for this one)
I also do not approve of sex with your partner. It may sound hypocritical but that’s the truth. And the sad part about it is that I’ve done it. But you know, hormones kick in and I just end up doing it anyway.
I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with it. It’s just that I believe that once you’ve done it, everything will be different for both of you. I am yet to find out what it is that’s different, but I swear there is something changing. I think it could be the way I view my partner, or the way I feel about him/her, or the way I think about the pureness of our love for each other. Do I really love him/her or do I just continue to be with him/her because the sex is great? I don’t know. And that’s why I hate it. I hate that after we’ve done it I know something in me changed and I hate that I have no idea what it is.
That’s why I admire people who do it just after they get married or at least, if they decide to be partners for life. Because, at least, by then they are sure of their love for each other and that it is not driven only by hormones. Not that you can ever be sure about anything, but you know what I’m saying.
You may ask me “So you’re not doing it at all anymore since marriage is quite a far-off reality for PLU in the country?” My answer? Of course I’ll still do it. But I don’t know when the time will come that I’ll see the “love” component of sex because honestly, until now, I don’t. I really don’t. You can go kill me now.
And I long for the day that when my partner and I does it, finally, I won’t feel something inside me change.