Once you realize that life (as in buhay) and fate are just fucking you, the only logical thing to do is FUCK BACK.
If things do not seem to go your way, then force them to. Remember, you always have the upper hand. Life is the ship, and you are its captain.
I was at that realization moment a while ago. Fuck this sadness. Fuck depression. Fuck what-could’ve-beens. Fuck frustrations. Fuck disappointments.
I’m through letting “fate” decide. It’s time I TAKE CONTROL.
I realize fate is only sweet and sane when it comes to love. But when my life as a whole is concerned, hell, I take the lead. I don’t care if fate or whatever invisible hand disagrees. This is my life and the only one person who can fuck it is me.
For quite some time now, I let everything flow as they please. Yes of course, I still take responsibility for my decisions. But I always have that “maybe this is what I’m fated to do or have, so I guess I’ll grab it. It’s not like I have much choice.”
From my job to my ~decision to delay further studies, I based it all on fate.
I had this job quite too easily, which made me think that maybe I was really destined to get this job. I’m not 100% sold with the job description or the company, but I accepted it still. Now life seems to yell at me, saying “Decided too quickly, huh? Now bear eight grueling hours of doing nothing that will satisfy your mind and heart. Boo you!”
Then there’s my ever desire to study again. To be clear, because apparently, some of my friends do not believe that I really want this. I want to pursue MBA, not because my partner wants to as well. I’ve been planning on it since June last year. I’ve been talking about it to a couple of my friends. At first I had to decide whether to pursue MBA or take a second degree on Advertising in DLSU. But the latter is just impossible, given my financial capabilities. So there, MBA it is.
I also want to take up certificate courses on Multimedia Arts. I’ve inquired in a number of schools and I could’ve accomplished it this year. But I haven’t because I wasn’t able to save enough money in time for the start of classes. So I guess fate did not let me (I know, I have myself to blame here, not being disciplined enough and all, but circumstances really did not let me save enough money, trust me.)
There, job and studies. It’s time I decide what I have to do with them.
I won’t be telling much what I am/was doing about the job part. I don’t want to jinx it. But I’m hoping for the best.
As for my studies, next year, I will definitely start my plans on studying again. Maybe start saving up on tuition. I don’t want to loan my tuition. So I’ll save up first. As to which I will purse first, MBA or MMA, I still don’t know.
It’s time to put my game face on.
And to you, life, this I say: Fuck you! I’m winning this.
Photo grabbed here.