I still feel bad about the decisions I made recently. Suffice to say, I was not thinking right when I made them.
And now, I’m dealing with the consequences. Even if I have been reassured countless times that what I did was not as big of a deal as I think it is, I am still bothered by the fact that I was able to do it, especially when I have been convinced for more than two years that everything has changed.
To be honest, I am so afraid of how it will affect what we have right now. While I find comfort in the fact that it may symbolize the security we have, I am still worried that there maybe repercussions in the long run. We never know. And it kills me that I have no clue or idea whatsoever.
I am also dreading the coming days because god knows how slow I am in getting over stuff. One month. One year. Two years. I DON’T KNOW!
With this terrible feeling I have right now, I guess it is really true when they say that “nasa huli ang pagsisisi.”