For the last four years that I was in a relationship, I always planned my life with my then partner in the equation. What would work best for us in the long run? Will we be able to sustain the relationship if I pursued this?
Which I guess was fine and was just the normal thing to do since I was in a relationship. But I belatedly realized that by doing that, I hindered myself of some experiences that I would’ve rather enjoyed if I wasn’t with anyone.
I guess I have to thank the other guy who, while didn’t want all of these to happen, became the trigger and the reason why I did what I did.
That didn’t quite work out for me, huh. I was hurt, yes. But I am still thankful. Thankful because he made me realize that I don’t need someone’s affection or affirmation to feel good about myself; thankful because in that short moment, no matter how he denies it, I felt I was special, and I know I made him feel the same way; thankful that I get to be a good friend to him despite what happened. And most importantly, I am thankful that I got to move on. I have moved on.
Now, I realize that I need to love myself again. I need to focus on myself again. I need to give in to what I want without having to think of how it affects someone.
Starting today, I get to enjoy life again, not with anyone else but myself.