I miss

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I need to come back to Baguio. There’s just something about the crowded city that comforts me.

I miss seeing the pine trees in Camp John Hay, eating strawberry taho in Mines View Park. I miss walking along Session Road, bumping into strangers, who like me, maybe lost in their own worlds as well.

I’ve been so busy with my life lately that when I pause and try to think of what has happened in my life so far, I can’t find the right words to answer. It’s like I’ve just cluttered my life with things, duties, adventures just to keep myself from feeling lonely. But that is what’s wrong with me. No matter how tired I am, I still manage to squeeze in a few minutes to reflect. A few minute too many for the sadness to kick in.

I miss Oh My Gulay, that despite having lackluster reviews from my parents and friends, still fills my soul with warmth and temporary joy. Because I feel like the whole place was made by someone inspired. I miss being inspired.

I miss Baguio’s run down charm, like the city can use a few refurbishing and updating here and there. But I like it just the way it is, because it shows all the history and the memories that the city holds dear.

I miss Chocolate de Batirol, its warm, think chocolate drink partnered with bibingka. I miss the joy we felt when we found the place and were warmly received by its owner, seated at the Kalayaan corner table.

But really, I miss Baguio because of all the memories I have in the city. I think I can say that I was the happiest guy alive when I first went there.

But I fucked up. I fucked up big time. And now, I’m trying to live my life and learn from my mistakes. I mean, what else should I do right?

I really want to go back to Baguio. If only to let myself relive the emotions, the happiness I felt back then. I miss being happy.

Tang ina, bakit ngayon pa ako nag-emo when I have a final paper to finish, two group reports to work on and a volunteer project happening on Sunday.

I miss you.

 

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